It’s true that we have to fight where the battle is, and right now the battle is over gay marriage. But as Donald Sensing points out, we lost this battle forty years ago. With that in mind, here are the elements we’d need to have in a bill or amendment for it to really be a defense of marriage:
* Elimination of no-fault divorce laws.
* Provide for divorce in a very few cases – adultery, abandonment, physical abuse, etc.
* If a divorce was justified, the offending party gets precisely nothing. No money, no custody, no visitation, nothing at all.
* The offending party pays alimony / child support based on the size of the family. Each member of the family gets one part of the offender’s income. So if you had a family of 4 (husband, wife, 2 kids) and abandoned them, you get 3/4th of your income taken for child support and alimony.
* The offending party would be legally unable to remarry, except to the original spouse.
* Violating your marriage vows seriously enough to warrant a divorce would also become part of the public record and would legally have to affect your credit rating, etc.
* Pre- and extra-marital sex would be a crime at least as serious as DWI.
* Forbid any distinction between a husband and wife when it comes to credit rating, finances, medical information, and so on.
* Defines marriage as the lifelong union of one man and one woman.
_That_ would be a DOMA I would get fired up about. My “Defense of Family Act” is even better.