Frank J asks if it’s paradoxical to want a hypothetical wife to be a housewife and also be ambitious.
One of the things that really sets me off is any implication, be it ever so slight or even unintentional, that there is any inconsistency at all between ambition, education, intelligence, etc., and being a housewife.
My wife graduated magna cum laude with a geology degree, which of course means lots of math and “hard” science. She was inducted into Phi Beta Kappa. Although I beat her on SATs, she’s probably smarter than I am. She’s quite capable of doing just about anything she wants.
Her ambition is to be an excellent wife and mother, and she puts her intelligence and energy into just that. And she’s quite successful at it.
Granted, the full extent of what she knows of geology may not be particularly useful at all times. For instance, I don’t know that she’ll ever need to explain to our children how to calculate the precise dynamics of the interaction of saltwater and fresh groundwater in coastal areas. She hated differential equations anyway (although she got a better grade in it than I did). But they very well might be interested in a general understanding of how that works.
Her education is quite useful raising kids. Children are notoriously curious, and my wife, because she has a good education, is able to satisfy their curiosity.
Given that we intend to homeschool our children, her education is even more important – but it would be important even if we weren’t.
She’s also a capable wife. I’ve entrusted her with managing the day to day affairs of the house. This means juggling schedules, managing money (I pay the bills and oversee the budget, but give her a significant amount of money each month for “household expenses” to do with as she sees fit), making sure we have food in the house, and so on. It’s quite complex, and I’m amazed that anyone is capable of it. She does a job I could not do.
I should also mention that she helps make sure I don’t dress too dorky, decorates our home inside and out, manages our social calendar, and so on.
Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a good wife. One interesting thing to note is that Proverbs 31 is “the words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.” This is not a man’s unrealistic wishlist. It’s a mother telling her son what to look for in a wife.
You can read Proverbs 31 for yourself, and others have written more and better about it than I will. But I would just like to point out a few things:
- A good wife is invaluable
- Her husband can trust her
- She’s energetic and industrious
- She can manage money and investments
- She’s generous
- She can run a home based business
- She can manage a large household
- She is wise and can teach
- She’s kind
- She is worthy of honor and praise
A housewife is more than a maid, cook, and babysitter. If that’s all you’re after, you probably won’t respect your wife because she won’t be energetic or ambitious. But that’s not what a good wife is. A married woman is called to be a “suitable helper” for her husband. That’s not a trivial responsibility, and lazy, unambitious, stupid women wouldn’t be very successful at it.