New Hymnal Released (Humor)

Got this press release in the mail.

In support of the new TNIV translation of the Bible, we are proud to release
a new hymnal for churches that are changing their pew Bibles out to the new TNIV. The new hymnal, entitled The Modern Evangelical Hym/Hernal will be released shortly. This hymnal was originally going to be called The Modern Evangelical, Dispensational, Postmodern, Antinomian, Arminian, Gnostic, Middle Knowledge, Open Theistic, Non Denominational, Politically Correct Hymnal, but we felt we may have left some people out…

Some of the fine classic hymns hand selected and rewritten for today’s
modern evangelical churches include…

* Amazing Choice
* How Great I Art
* When the Saints Go Retreating Back
* When We ALL Get to Heaven
* All Hail the Power of My Name
* Some of the Way, My Savior Leads Me
* Some to Jesus I Surrender
* And Can It Be, That I Should Earn
* Before Thee God, Who Knowest Some
* Blessed Possibility
* O Come All Ye Faithless
* Eternal Father Weak to Save
* We May Be Moved
* OK Is Your Faithfulness
* I Surrender Some
* It Is Swell With My Soul
* Backward Christian Soldiers
* Take My Life and Let Me Be
* The Lord is My Shepherd, I Always Want
* The New Hand Polished Cross (old and Rugged seemed so … old and rugged sounding)
* There is a Bomb In Gilead
* Tis So Sweet to Trust in Me

For many Methodist and PCUSA Churches we included:
* She Leadeth Me
* She Lives She Lives
* She Will Hold Me Fast

And by popular demand, we have included a personal favorite…

* I Did It My Way

We even included many of the popular modern worship choruses … and best of
all, we didn’t have to change the words!

Thank you for your interest in the new Modern Evangelical Hym/Hernal.

Sincerely,

Fanny Wormwood
Zonderban Publishing

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One Response to New Hymnal Released (Humor)

  1. mom says:

    Very funny. I like your list. See, I do too read your website! :-)

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