Things that go bump in the night

One of these days, I’ll hear a strange noise and ignore it and it really will be a burglar. But for now, I’ll just keep driving myself crazy hunting down the sources of unusual noises in my house.

A couple of summers ago (June/July 2000), Leandra went on a week long trip with her mom and sister to visit her grandparents. I couldn’t take any time off work, so I had to stay here by myself (this was before we had kids).

The first night she was gone, I was getting ready for bed when I heard a “thud” coming from somewhere in the house. I ran out into the living room to see what was going on. After checking all the rooms, behind the guest bathroom shower curtain, and every single closet, I figured it must have been a car door or something outside. So I went back and finished getting ready for bed.

Several minutes later I heard another, louder “thud”. This time I was certain it was someone trying to break in or something like that. After all, it was the second time I’d heard that noise, from the same general direction, and it was louder now. I imagined someone outside trying to pry open a door or window or something like that.

So I grabbed my gun and ran into the living room. I stood in the middle of the room with my back facing the wall. And I waited for the noise. And I waited. And I waited. And I waited.

Finally, I gave up. On my way back to my bedroom, I went into the laundry room to check on the clothes in the drier. Then I discovered what had made the noises. I’d carelessly left the detergent and fabric softener on top of the drier. The vibration of the drier had caused both to fall onto the floor. Being lighter, the fabric softener had fallen off first and made the quieter “thud”, followed later by the heavier detergent.

Tonight, I had just put Johsua to bed and was in my bedroom talking to Leandra as she bathed Jacob. We have a baby monitor in Joshua’s room and the receiver in our room, since the bedrooms are on opposite sides of the house (I *hate* that kind of floorplan). We heard kind of a loud crash or clatter, both normally and over the baby monitor.

Our first fear was that Josh had fallen, but the fact that the crash wasn’t followed by crying meant it wasn’t him. I went in to check on him and found all was well. This was followed by an extensive search of the house, which turned up nothing that would have made such a crash.

I told Leandra that I hadn’t found the cause of the crash, and she came to help me look. We searched all over and found nothing.

I decided to take a look outside. I figured it was possible that someone had tried to pull a screen off a window, or maybe some kids had thrown something at the house, or who knows what. So I again grabbed my trusty gun (no bullet in the chamber, I don’t carry like that) and tucked it in my belt and headed out the door. I made Leandra lock the door behind me.

A trip around the house revealed nothing. Well, except for the fact that the shadows cast by my lawnmower and trailer create a vaguely human shape when the back patio light is on and you walk around the south side of the house.

When I got back around front, Leandra had discovered that the stupid kitchen shears had fallen out of their holder again and made the noise as they clattered onto the kitchen counter.

I’ve long since gotten used to the strange way this house creaks and makes “killer walking down the hall” noises at night. But these crashes and thuds drive me nuts.

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One Response to Things that go bump in the night

  1. griff says:

    i’m sorry, i’ll try to be a little quieter next time i am snooping around your house.

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